If cars ate people

This isn't really about cars eating people but that would make a horribly wonderful B movie...if done right of course. No, this is about my mind wandering while driving to school. I take the highway for 20-40 min and during that time some really weird things occur to me.

First, I noticed that white cars traveled in packs. Strange to say but it seemed at the time to be true. If I saw one white car, chances were there were four or five others right around it. That of course leads me to believe that there is an overabundance of white cars. Why would anyone buy a white car? Are they cheaper than other cars since white cars cannot hide dirt? They flaunt that dirt like battle scars. That would be similar to me buying a white dress, rolling around in the mud, and walking around a crowded area all day. Makes no sense.

So next on my list of strange highway hypnosis thought processes is how people drive. I know it sounds weird and even slightly crazy but people reveal a lot about their personalities when they drive. The timid person who doesn't merge quickly but waits their turn. The person in serious need of anger management classes who will cut you off if you make them angry and weave in and out of traffic like you've personally offended them. Then you have the impatient person who weaves through traffic because nobody can shove their asses fast enough for this person. Ok, so both angry and impatient person have similar qualities...I see that now. Trust me. Next time you drive, take a look around at how people drive and react to other cars and tell me that they don't give you a glimpse of the kind of person they are.

We drive every day to and from places never really taking in consideration what goes on around us beyond getting from point A to point B. They way we move in groups like we're our own little society on pavement. How you'll follow someone because they're going just the right speed and you know you can trust which lane they're in. How we feel betrayed by getting stuck behind a semi truck, everyone passing us and no one letting us in. You can't escape people while driving, so embrace it, and get your ass out of the left lane if you can't go fast enough. You'll just annoy...ok I should say piss off the impatient and angry people...like me.

Love and all it's baffles

So let's talk about love. Love is the most dangerous emotion on earth. While my opinion isn't really fact, if you think about it, we do the craziest, STUPIDEST things for love. One of the reason I'm writing about love is because of the complications it creates. He loves her, she loves him and he doesn't know how to love anyone but himself. When you read the first line, I bet you were thinking roses, hearts, sappy poems and all kinds of romance. No, it's not just that type. Love of family, friends, people, objects, money, drugs, alcohol, these are all types and variations of this emotion. We feel connected to something to a point of complete madness. We obsess over whether we don't have it, why we don't have it, who really has it. So how do you fix this problem? You can't. It's one of those responses that we are programmed to want. The best thing to do is to look, listen and act. I feel like smokey the bear when I say this but it's true. When you find yourself hopelessly smitten by someone or something, look around at what you are doing to everyone else. Is this object of affection worth the price. Listen to what friends and family have to say and what your mind is telling you. Last, act on what you think is right. Don't stay in a relationship that's harmful, find a way to help others if you are so caught up with yourself, and scream if a relative is hurting you. Unfortunately, though, love makes us do the dumbest things.

Homo queery

Sorry for my horrible puns but I couldn't help myself. With National Coming Out day and all the recent deaths surrounding sexuality, I wanted to rant a bit about homosexuality and bisexuality. I'll save transgender for another day due to it's complicated nature. It actually just so happens I had a discussion about the nature of sexual orientation, the why's and how's of it, with a friend. His beliefs were that homosexuality was a choice either conscious or subconscious. The only choice I believe that homosexuals make is whether or not to act on the feelings they have. They can always just bury those feelings deep inside and pretend they don't exist, or they can be themselves and pursue love as they are meant to. To say that someone chooses this kind of life is to simplify a very complicated matter: love. We choose who we are meant to love, but, at the same time, more goes into it. It might be in our genes, it might be chemical, or it might be that love is so intense and so intricate that the combination of reasons are almost endless. Why do people let stupidity take hold and cause other people pain by being prejudice? There should be no tolerance, there should be acceptance about something that makes each one of us unique and is absolutely beautiful. Just like there are some people who try to be straight and realize it's like kissing their siblings or family, I've met some people who would love to be gay... but they just can't. It's not like they didn't choose to, but it's like kissing family. There's a key component missing that some people just don't have.

    

 I was also asked how homosexuality is helpful to the survival of our species. Honestly, I have no clue. I do know that homosexuality and bisexuality are evident in other species besides ours but as for the purpose... that's an excellent question. For me though, I'm of the "who cares?" variety. It is an excellent idea to be well versed in possible theories in case a question like this comes up in conversations. Not to mention proving that sexuality is a genetic trait might be helpful but could also lend to credence to those who believe homosexuality is a disease. I just wish that society would just stop hating everyone and start loving everyone like all these religions preach about. It's like that scene in Half Baked, "fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you" Sin is such an ugly word that make people act like barbarians that there are a number of deaths resulting from religious fervor. You must die because you are different. How terrible a person you must be if you can justify taking someone's life and hating someone due to their sexual orientation. It wasn't too long ago that we felt the same way about people of different races, and now there's a similar feeling towards those with a different sexual orientation as us. Since it's not entirely evident certain prejudice application can't take place like segregated bathrooms and transportation systems, but not being able to marry or being fired just because the person you love is the same gender as you is segregation too. 

The point is that sexuality is not a disease, is not a complete choice and that people need to get off their high horse and start acting like decent people. Maybe when we learn to be loving and supportive of others will our eyes open to all the good  things that this world has to offer.

Sometimes change is for the best

Despite the fact that I'm a mad, unorganized, scattered, etc etc etc kind of person, I feel that I need some change in my life. In addition to being messy and a packrat, I also get sick quite often. Nothing serious just colds, sinus infection, bronchitis, and other small ailments that make my life more difficult than it needs to be. Add that to my allergies and asthma, I'm a disaster. So I've recruited the help of two people to help me nurture the change that is necessary if I'm to become a better and healthier person. Don't get wrong, I will probably still eat pizza and go to Denny's once in a while for buffalo chicken strips and homework, but, overall, I need new habits and routine.

Now I'm starting both at the same time, household organization and cleanliness plus new eating routines and habits. My little sister is probably one of the most organized people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting without being completely nuts and neurotic. She's one of those types who can take charge, get things done and still make everyone happy. Needless to say, we are two very different people, and it's these qualities that I'm hoping to assimilate from her. So she came over with the intention of helping me hang up decorations, but we decided to turn it into organizing all my shit. So off to IKEA we went and there we found shelves and such to start making room for all the things I do need and going through the stuff that I don't need. My next big project after this is to make a shelf for all my drawings and large sketch books so I don't just toss them under my bed.

After all that fun stuff, I'm taking on the role of being healthy and exercising. Exercising is something I've already started but the eating healthy part... definitely a work in progress. Now I already don't drink soda and drink tons of water, but I really need to cut out the crap I include in my diet. Such as Wendy's and eating at work. My friend, Stan, is helping with this next project. His diet is severely limited due to a problem he has but he has realized the benefits of such eating habits. He never eats out and so far he's lost 20 lbs. Weight loss isn't my goal but feeling better and more energy would do wonders for my life. There would be so much I could accomplish. I'm taking him with me to go grocery shopping and he's aiding me with my new game plan.

So new plan: eat better, keep organized, and be healthier. Nothing too hard unless you've been living my lifestyle for six years. Once I get these goals met, I would like to start meditating and focusing on my energy. Energy is life and with the type of stress I surround myself with, I could use meditation to keep that stress in check. Hopefully. Wish me luck on my new adventure. Let's see how this turns out.

In circles

The world is surrounded by never ending cycles both physical and other. We see the process of cycles throughout our day millions of times though most of the time we never realize it. Our bodies are circular functions that keep us running, keep us moving. Any kink in this system, we falter, we get sick. Same with the machines we build, the plants that grow beneath our feet and above our heads we all follow a path that leads us around and around. Looking at the bigger picture, the cycles of the moon, the sun, the stars, even time. Such colossal entities follow similar courses that we ourselves follow just in longer frames. 


Birth, death, rebirth. We are born, we live, we create, we die, and then other beings live and thrive off of our deaths. The cycle that is life is beautiful and scary to those who don't believe that there is more to life than what's here on this planet. I'm not talking heaven, God, Jesus, and all that stuff, I'm talking about higher power and way of thinking. To say we end when we die or stop somewhere is to say that we live in straight lines. If we look at the way the entire world works, how can we ourselves say that we live, we die, then end? Why does this one cycle have to run in a straight line when every other life and death revolves in a circular motion? 


While circles and cycles are a wonderful process that we partake in everyday, every second of every hour that we live, there are also malicious cycles. The endless cycles we start on and can't deviate from. I'm talking about habits, routines, and they are not always good for us. Like eating too much, smoking too much, or always dating the same kinds of people when you are aware of the harm they cause you. A friend of mine let me catch a glimpse of the cycles she herself would always follow in her past before she made good changes and, in doing so, showed me that people do these things all the time and aren't aware of it. They surround themselves with friends and people who belittle them and take advantage of them. We are beautiful beings if only we can see the truth about ourselves. How can we help others, though, when we can't even help ourselves? 


I found that I do some of the same things. Rush into relationships with people who aren't necessarily bad, but aren't the best for me. Friendships, romantic entangles, all sorts of connections that cause me harm. I tend to gravitate toward people who need help. There are a number of my good friends who are addicts in one form or another, which doesn't bother me. Helping people is like candy for the soul, there's only so much some of us can take. Volunteer, help clean litter from a park, or help abused animals, but don't let people entangle their greasy, black strands of their life which they refuse to make better with yours. If a person is worthy of your attention and is worthy of your help, then try, but don't let them suck you into a bitter hole that they themselves crawl into. When this happens, we who are trying to be the wonderful people that we are, must make the sacrifice and cut the strands of their lives from ours. It is a sacrifice since with those strands that strangle us, we are also cutting the strands that we cherish. If we keep one, though, the other will eventually surface and suffocate us. 


That's my last theory, mentally we work in circles. We follow patterns that connect us to a memory that connect us to something else. Eternal thoughts that end only when we cease to breath, and, even then, we continue on. One cannot create energy nor destroy energy. Thus, while we can be separated from our bodies, we cannot be destroyed. Our beings are an everlasting thing that cycles in and out of this existence. That's my belief until proved otherwise.